


Mother

by airute (siruru)



Category: Katekyou Hitman Reborn!
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Canonical Character Death, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Mother-Son Relationship, Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-01
Updated: 2018-02-01
Packaged: 2019-03-12 05:15:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13540449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/siruru/pseuds/airute
Summary: The shortest moments are something to hold onto.[TYL!Gokudera Hayato] [Lavina]





	Mother

**Author's Note:**

> this what i get for following a softer vongola on tumblr. sorry there isn't a pairing this time around, but i really wanted this to be solely about gokudera and his mother because we only get a few references to them within the manga. i wanted to write something about what he would think of her, so this came to be. also, i really think that the song goes perfectly with the story, so don't hesitate to listen to it. 
> 
> enjoy~!
> 
>  
> 
> [to mother : yui](http://v.youku.com/v_show/id_XMjMyODkyMDAw.html)

**i put on my best suit.**

There is still within him that scared little boy that became too curious of the maids' chatter and overheard all that had been hidden from him. His bright green eyes -just like hers- widen at the sudden information that comes out of a certain chattering woman's mouth. Something burns and bubbles within his chest, telling himself to run away and cover his ears. However, he doesn't because he wants to be a brave and strong little boy, just like the lady with the shaky pianist hands had told him to be once. He remembers only little details of her since the last time he had seen her, but with the truth all the images of her slowly return to the forefront of his mind. His small chest starts to hurt more and more and by the end of the story -where her car falls into a lonely ditch somewhere too far from him- there are two watery lines running from his eyes to his chin. Hayato cannot stay quiet and soon starts to hiccup from the strange burning in his chest. The maids gasp and turn towards the direction of the door, but he is already running, running out the room, out the large mansion and into the fields that aren't exactly the same shade of her pretty eyes. He wants to get away from the home that really never was a home, but more importantly of the lonely piano that she used to play with him. His thoughts are all on her now and if she ever felt the large hole that is slowly taking the place of where it had been burning a moment ago. Between all the misty thoughts of sliver and green, he briefly hears her voice, melancholic and slightly out of tune, just like how she played whenever she was about to leave  
him.

_Kindness is cruel, isn't it?_

* * *

Age 15.

After returning from the future, Gokudera disposes of all the letters that Bianchi had given him. He does not need nor want to read his father's excuses, thus one by one he rips them all and throws them in the trash. Yet, one catches his eyes from all the rest. The envelope is yellowing in the corners with his father's name written in a looped cursive on the center. His curiosity gets the better of him and his opens it and starts to read the letter. His eyes start to water as she states in written word that this will be the only letter that she will write. She rejects the Mafioso's marriage proposal and asks for him to no longer seek her out. Everything else is about her expectation that he will treat Hayato well and of her hopes that he will turn into a wonderful young man one day. Gokudera feels that same burning sensation of his childhood returning as he slowly falls onto the floor of his small apartment. He is crying like that lost little boy again by the time he is done, as his eyes keep scanning over her name -something that he had not known before- and the line just under it, written in her semi-fancy looped style on a folded, yellowing piece of paper.

_Please show him that his mother loves him dearly._

Age 25.

"Do you know where Gokudera is?"

"He has the day off."

Tsunayoshi looks up from his desk to see the surprised face of his Rain Guardian. Since they were young, the silver-haired bomber had been completely devoted to the Vongola, everyone knew this. So, the thought of him taking a day off from being at his boss's side seemed to amaze anyone that Tsunayoshi told. Ever since they came to Italy, Gokudera asked for the same day off, Tsunayoshi did not know exactly why --some details here and there-- but, it was something that was important to him, so Sawada did not intrude. The Storm Guardian was gone from the mansion before anyone was awake and was back before dinner was served. They never talked about where he went and the melancholic look that his eyes held would and quickly disappear when enough people entered the dining room. There would be nothing different in his behavior before or after that certain date, so nobody outside a certain group of people really knew of what he did. The person that probably knew best what the young man did would be his older sister, but she kept her mouth closed on his whereabouts. Nobody knew that he would buy a new suit for this single day and take the earliest train to the western sea coat of Italy.

"Would you like something else, sir?"

"No, thank you."

The waitress nods and hands him the check for the small breakfast that he had eaten after getting off the train. Gokudera is polite, but colder than usual as he stares at the waves crashing onto the shore. It had taken him some years to find out everything that he could about her on his own, but he is a determined fool. He had learned that Lavina had been born in this western Italian town and had lived here up to the months of her death. It is the closest thing that he has to her besides the letter since both her parents had been dead for as long as she had been. He had searched for every detail that he could find without being noticed by anyone, especially by his father. Yet, this is all just information on paper and all the memories that he had once of her were nearly all gone. Deep down, he knows that he is never going to find out the type of person that she had been in her short life. It makes the burning sensation ache even more until he found himself traveling to this town on a very particular day. He eats and wanders aimlessly until he finds a certain address that had etched itself into his memory. Since then it had become a custom for him to come here once a year, to feel closer to the shadowy figure within his memories if only for a while. The elderly clerk hands him a small bag on his way out with a kind smile that Gokudera can never seem to return. He strolls the streets that line across the sandy shoreline and shortly before noon he finds himself in front a familiar set of stairs. The key is inside the flower box set up on the window next to the stairs and as he opens the door, he wonders who keeps this place paid for, especially since its only occupant has been dead for years now.

"I got here early."

"I brought a cake to celebrate."

The Storm Guardian calls out into the small apartment, but it only echoes back at him in a mocking sort of way. Maybe, it is his father who pays for this place out of some strange sense of duty to the woman that Bianchi says that he loved or as Gokudera hopes, that it is a person that knew Lavina and of the son that she had, only to be taken away along with the rest of her life and dreams. This person keeps it exactly the way she had it in life in hopes that one day he would come and search for the woman that loved her son so much that she gave him away to ease the pain of him knowing the truth. It is a naive thought, but Gokudera wishes to be childish and hopeful whenever he enters this place. He walks around the different rooms for some time, wishing to see what she would have done throughout her day. The living room is his last stop, as he stares at the large piano gathering dust in the corner. His fingers shake in a familiar movement, the one that she had taught him from their brief lessons on the piano back in his childhood. He walks slowly to it and suddenly everything for a brief moment comes back to him: her silver-colored hair, her bright green eyes and the smile that she always had for him. He sets the small bag onto a table near the black piano and slowly takes a seat on the bench. This is how he would spend the rest of his day, playing all the songs that she had taught and a simple tune he had written for her once that over the years grew into something more wonderful, just like she had wished for him. His index finger hits a white key. Its tone is melancholic and out of tune, but at the same time beautiful, full of life, and raw emotion -- just like she had surely been once.

"Happy birthday..."

"...mother."

**i pretend she's coming home.**


End file.
